Simulcast on The White Rabbit - *BLACK HOLE* Live Journal Feed.



"Stay"

You died for us
On a cross.
(Stay with me.)
We died for you
Martyrs below.
(Please, don't go.)
Who died for who?
It's hard to choose.
And even harder to lose.

Oh, Mary Beautiful,
I left you in the dust.
(Stay with me.)
I left you behind.
Hurting yourself, you said, "feels right."
A whisper for forgiveness unanswered.
In self medicated wonderland.
You're just like me.
I taught you well.
Tears are only water,
When we're oceans apart.
I know she still believes
In Me. -God, why?-
(Stay.)
And I know she still loves
The savior who isn't coming.
So many sad angels.

How will I know when to leave here?
Don't let me go without saying goodbye.
Ghosts like you are hard to lose.
(Stay with me.)
Life always knows it's time.

Can't forget you even though I try.
Self medicated wonderland.
I left you in the dust.
So many sad angels.
(Stay with me.)

How do I create metatags so that my entries can be archived by GOOGLE with those tags? For example, perhaps I would want to archive a spoken word post as a podcast or a poem as creator owned work? This is an experiment I want to try but I have no idea how to do it. Also, is there a way to do it on Live Journal?

-Nobius
Lost in the web.

"You don't wanna beg or plead at all." --WASP

"I would love to love the world again; for the very first time." --Nobius Black

I'll make this quick. I am thankful for a lot of things. Here's just a few in no particular order:

Aikido. Returning to the martial arts this year has helped me to lose eighty pounds while bringing my brother Michael and I closer. It has also given me something positive to work for, helped me to release a lot of negative energy, and garnered me respect from friends, family, and strangers alike. (Just wear the uniform into the gas station and see the reactions.)

My return to writing over the past year and a half. Through it I've created this BLOG, my live journal, my zine Blue Rabbit Chronicles, and joined the APA Centauri. I can't tell you how good it's been for me. I love to create and write. And a few people even enjoy my work. :) On top of that, I've met a lot of new people as well.

For the realization this year of who I really am. And not running from it. I am a father, writer/poet, sales person, martial artist, metal head/music lover, reader, and comic book nut. Amongst other things. I like me, for the first time in a long time. And I'm okay--I don't need a God/religion or anyone else for that matter to tell me who to be.

I'm thankful for my new job. I am learning life long skills that can not only take me further in my current job but afterwards as well.

I am thankful that though I'm hardly wealthy, my needs are met. God bless the poor.

Most of all I'm thankful for my wife and kids. Whom I love with all my heart. I'm so lucky to have them, not the other way around.

"Don't obsess with the process of falling to dust." --Curiosity Valentine

Played a demo of Star Wars: Battlefront for X-box last night. Very cool. Getting into the AT-ST and blowing **** apart had to be the best. Not followed far by jumping on a speeder bike and wrecking havoc. X-box Magazine is worth every penny and each issue comes with a demo disk.

I want to know how I can get a job there. X-Box Magazine even has a guy who's job is to edit the demo disk. How cool is that? And how hard can it be?

I used to think dream jobs like that were just that...a dream. Now, I know better.

My destiny is rising and now I must catch it.

Or die.

We're all waiting for a sign.
Thus my obsession with fire
During my emotional drought.
Holding back my love,
I forgot how.

Really, things haven't changed,
You and I
We're just the same.
Two at midnight
Crying poetry
Burning our hearts
Looking for God.

Another day in quicksand.
Another stumble mouth.

Not saying what I want to say.
Not saying what I should.

Sink boy.
Sink.
If you don't stand up,
Who will?

Now I know,
There's something wrong.
-The System-
Seems to me cold
Out here in the alone
So far from Heaven,
Who will hear my prayers?

It has been said that in the Holy place
Even the rats call His name.
They know there are things that we must *all* find
On our own.
Who am I?
Who is God?
Why am I here?

Never let me down.
Never let me down.
My chant.
My words to Him.
That throne so high
It froze the warmth
From His heart.

They don't care about you.
They only care you do what they do.
Monkey truths.
The system is killing.

Never let me down.
Never let me down.
I have a good ear for –wings-.
The Angels stay away from me.
Even on Death's bed I'll hear them.
I hate their light.
They know it's not His forgiveness
I need.

It's my own.

Never let me down.
Never let me down.
This -System- is wrong.
Our religion is sick.
I know.
If my soul ends up in the pit of Hell
Then let my epitaph be:
Even there, the heart of the poet beats.

And it will...

Ron Southern sent this link to me: Comic Cover Search Engine. Over 50,000 comic book covers indexed including Kamandi #1!

"There she goes and I'm on the ground." --Default

"Can't you see that I'm here inside?" --Lacuna's Coil

Found an old box of comics that I didn't realize I had today. There's quite a few gems in it. Had to bag, back, and seal them all. Took my wife and I two hours. Now, I've got a pristine copy of X-men 296 sitting right here that I'm about to read. It's part of the X-Cutioner's Song.

From the X-men, I've culled an idea spawned by the Sentinels. I am imagining metal angels that protect us all. Who are they? Where did they come from? And why do they kill? Not sure where's it's going but rest assured it will go somewhere.

I'd still love to do some comics if I could find a dedicated artist(s). I want to create both one shot type stories and franchises. Something for my kids would be nice too. Who knows maybe I can create the next Yugi-Oh?

However working on my poetry is always first, because I am, if not by desire then by nature a poet. Think I'll be putting together a collection of poetry called Rational Animals. And yes, the title is an oxymoron. :)

Think I may be starting a third blog once my Live Journal has more of my original work archived. It'll be a Warren Ellis fan site type blog called The Filthy Assistant. What else?

Did I mention I've lost eighty pounds now?

Got some links to throw at you: Google Scholar, MSN Search, and info on the Apparat books.

Better go, time to read.

It's lonely here
In my head.
Can't figure out
Just where I'm supposed to go.
(No one tells me.)
Or what it is I'm supposed to be.
(Something great.)

I'm so down.
Poetry's a bore.
Words within words
Clarity never bring
Only obscurity
And more memories of him.
A ghost can only haunt.

Angels never talk
Even when caught.
They just watch
While I turn to sand.

Love during wartime.
An answer to our own problems.
I'm so down.
Should be used to the cold by now.
Winter, hearts, and icicles.
Bullets never freeze.

When did the future turn out wrong?
The moment I stepped in.
Can never go back again.
(It's eating me alive.)

And my girl doesn't want me anymore.
Instead of a kiss she just says,
"Your too black man.
Back off,
I'm with the ghost."

I am archiving the best of my work over at Live Journal. Check it out.

Same Nobius. No Crap. The White Rabbit - *BLACK HOLE*: Fall In!

I finished Warren Ellis's Transmetropolitan: Tales of Human Waste last night. Not necessarily one of his better works, however the artwork was beautiful and the concept was extremely unique. Essentially the book is a collection of the columns of fictional journalist Spider Jerusalem (the star of the Transmetropolitan books.) Each article accompanied by original art from a different artist.

Check out Scott Marshall's Marginally Useful blog. Very cool, and I love the "library" feel of it. BTW, Scott's a member of the APA. Why aren't you?

"The system's for sale." --Megadeth

I'm nearly done with Maps in a Mirror which is good because my back logged reading pile is growing so high that the uninitiated might mistake it for a mountain...or at least a mess. :)

Just finished reading the graphic novel Kingdom Come which wasn't a great book however I really enjoyed the ending.

And I read Primal Leadership. A great book with case studies about the power of feeling and emotions and how they interact with a company's goals and aspirations. Or don't, as the case may be. There is a section about understanding and dealing with your "emotional triggers"...in other words "the things that set you off." Not that I have any of those. :) The book also deals with understanding the reality of and inspiring the norms and culture of entire companies and individual work groups. But the best part, brings to light "unspeakables" in the work place. The things that you can't talk about at work no matter what. At my company, speaking the unspeakable will give you a one way ticket to the unemployment line. (Even when you're right.) Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.00. Bottom line to corporations and individuals, feelings matter. Ignore that fact at your own peril.

Isn't it funny how people like us think about books? Books have always been a part of my life, reading always will. They are my friends. Now, go and tell me about some of your friends.

I write zines. Love 'em. They're just like blogs, only on paper. Lately I've written poetry zines and a zine tribute to the great Warren Ellis. I'm working on a short, short, fiction zine full of stories that are 200 words or less!

Do you know zine culture?

Do you write zines or know someone who does?

I'd like to talk to you. I'd like you to send me your zines. We can even trade.

Another link, I don't want to forget but need off my desk top. P D photo.org -- public domain, stock photos.

This is a rewrite of a poem that appeared previously here.

"Unreal"

Smoke
Mirrors
Magic
(Magician’s slight of hand.)
None of this is real.

Love
Pain
Death
It’s only how I feel.
Me-
My illusion--out of hand.

(The words are card tricks.)

Hiding behind him
Is hiding behind Nobius.
He stops the bullets.
Then makes me smile.
A special word.
“Abracadabra”
Everything I wanted to be.

See how they steal…

Superman saves.
But the chest size ‘S’ is for shame.
What do I want?
I don’t know.
Who am I?
Clearly, the one to blame.

Soul blood is ink.
Blotted words create poetry.
Writing tells me just who I am.
A rabbit out of the hat.
Yet truth lies in the mind…

Poof!
I'm so *unreal*.
I’m all in my head.
Wave the wand!
It’s just a pen.

See how I steal.
Please don’t see the trick.
A sawed in half muse,
Does not always go…
Back together again

And maybe tonight,
Matt needs your applause.
(My –I- made of me.)
I want to be...

The Real Me.
The Star of the Show.
The wizard not the magic.

Archiving another link before I forget that I even read the article. Isn't that what a BLOG is for anyway? :)

GOOGLE uses brain teasers to recruit employees.

Cool talking search engine called Speegle.

And the Internet gets cooler all the time.

Where is my city
When you break the butterfly
And die dead enough?

Take it while you can.
Miracles are cruel.
I love your story.
Goodbyes are long.
It's okay to breathe.

Off He goes
It all comes together
So far from Heaven
The Halo is on.
Where do you hide
The sins from God?
With these wings,
About to fly. (Or fall.)
But don't tell Molly,
I am about to break her heart.

She found the moment that made me explode.
So helpless --am I--
Hold my eyes open
So I can see the end.
Then go home.

But it all feels like we do
Feels
Just the same
As yesterday.
When time forgot.
Everything you were.

Nuclear white
And halos
Blinding me out,
When I should sleep.
Words run white.

It all feels like we do
And feels just the same
As yesterday.

Today was the greatest of epihanies.
Seven headed truths came to me during meditation.
I am not my own.
I saw it on the news.
I saw it in my dreams.

My first born was want.
(I want to be a writer.)
Anything is possible to a child.
(It's why I love mine so.)
Youth is a great miracle.
Doubt tried to take mine like Passover.
Daily bread tried to take me over.
Authors strangle easily.
Man gives up desire.
Bleeds away hopes.

Behold, the blood was at the door!
(I had only forgotten what it was I wanted to be.)
Now everything changes, selah.
One with the words forever.
This is what -I- am.

Do not bare the false
Nor be the false.
Machines care not for you.
A new commandment:
Thou shalt not be a company man.
(Machines care not for you.)

There can only be this man.
One man.
The writer.
With his way.
This is my salvation.

Even when lost.

Amen to the Lord.
Pick up the pen.
Truth is setting me...
Forever.

There are new posts over at my Live Journal. Some you may have never seen before.

It's like this BLOG only no carbs.

Less filling!

Tastes great!

Yada yada yada.

It's here the first preview for Episode III. And I hear the real revenge is that this one has a plot.

IBM Research | Projects | Text-to-Speech | Unconstrained U.S. English Text Demo.

Neat speech synthesizer demo. But I still miss the old TI-994A Speech Synthesizer!

It's all said and done. And though I'm hardly surprised by the outcome of the election, I was pleasantly surprised by the gracious concession speech by Kerry. Just like him, I teared up too. In the end, the people did make their decision not the lawyers. Forgive me, I was wrong.

"Here I walk through the field where I died. I'm the ghost by your side." --Iced Earth

Did you ever wonder
If God is obsessed with man
As much as man is obsessed with God?

I doubt it, man.
I doubt it.