"I hope he never lets me down again." --Depeche Mode

"Once I had my heroes, once I had my dreams...the truth is not that comfortable." --Moby

I love my family. Each little angel. But sometimes, like a Radio turned too loud, I just want to turn them off. Turn if all off. Right now, I need to be left alone with pen and paper. It's time to work.

Instead, I'll feel guilt again.

Scary how accurate this is.

You Were Actually Born Under:

You are quick witted, charming, and bring luck to all who know you. A bit greedy, you tend to go after what you want - with success. Clever, you seek out knowledge... and eventually use what you know to your advantage. You are very loyal, and you treat your real friends like they are family. You are most compatible with a Dragon or Monkey.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

Your most comfortable inside your head - and often daydream the day away. You have an artistic temperament that makes you seem creative to some, eccentric to others. You avoid conflict at all costs, and you have a difficult time with relationships. Attractive and with good manners, you tend to shine in social situations. You are most compatible with a Pig or Rabbit.

Great post from Neil Gaiman regarding his current book and a few other nifty links, etc.

"Still you feed us lies from the table cloth....Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?" -- System of A Down



Small God

Gifted killer sweet memory,
Everytime I have one,
Another piece dies.

Further we drift.

Coil snake crushing
Just means we're in love.
Poetry is self...
Absorbed.

I stand in flood and
Reap ink--
Blood you spilled.
Just look the other way.

I chose to live.
I did it for Mom.
But what did I do for me?
And what should I do now?
(Never let me down.)

There's more to say,
But we've been here before.
All ghosts love words.
No more Poetry.
No, not tonight....

Small God set me free.
(They say you're inside.)
Or when we fall,
Do we fall...
Forever?

Guerilla Press -- a self publishing resource.

The Mindscape of Alan Moore trailer is released.

Rick sent me some comics. This was one of them. Almost as cool as Pycho Spastic Alien Daddies! Enjoyed the issue immensley, it was about dreams. The Splinter sequence, all though a bit short, was the best.

Apocalyptica is a classically trained quartet of cellists playing heavy metal. The result is quite literally breath taking as the group is lauded by both classical music lovers and metal heads alike!

The BBC rushes headlong into the future instead of fighting it.

Article on the features we all wish Blogger had.

"All I ever wanted, was a place to call my own...to miss me when I'm gone." --Shinedown

"I'm a turtle in a shell composed in it's totality of my work and me." --Joan Payne Kincaid.



Refugee

Life pulls me down,
I convince myself--I'm just wading.
How do you separate the drop
From a sea of souls?
We are all under/a part.

Where is the stone,
The Pillar of our world?
Someone must stand above.
I've been searching my whole life.

I am but a
Refugee
Looking.
Them answers don't come easily.

Grace of One.
When my name was Matthew
I died for your sins.
Did nothing wrong
But felt guilt constant.

Jesus is hemorrhaging everywhere
(Get Him out of here!)
He yanked my soul
Right through my damn neck.

I am but a
Refugee
Looking.
(Same as you love.)

I won't be comin' back.
I won't be comin' home ever.
You and your fate are not in my hands
(I'm no savior!)
Or anyone else's.
(All my suffering.)

I bled for You,
Now I bleed You.

Refugee.

Warren gives us the script to Ministry of Space #1. Thank you Warren! It's one of the best science fiction comics ever written but in a totally different vain than his magnum opus Transmetropolitan.

Warren is posting the script for free but is asking for donations to pay for bandwidth. A rent party so to speak, since he doesn't use corporate sponsorship for his site.

In other Warren news, I ordered Desolation Jones #1 today and asked my comic store to pull it for my ongoing order. I hear it's a strong book. I'll let you know.

Finishing up the last of my Free Comic Book Day stuff and then I'm going to read What Color is Your Parachute? Everyone I know who has ever read it, tells me it's full of great advice for people searching for a new job like myself.

Today I'm thinking I'd like to own a publishing company. What a perfect career for me. And I'm not talking about just publishing my poetry, etc. I'm talking about publishing comics, magazines, books. Hmmm...more on this later.

"Am I too lost to be saved? My God, My Tourniquet, Return to me Salvation." --Evanescence





Finally finished Stan Rice's The Radiance of Pigs and Fear Itself. Few poets can match Rice's ability to be both vulgar and gorgeous, poignant yet surreal in the same set of lines. His words are stark truth and ring like a bell through the soul.

Now, to decide which of my unread books to move on to next. I'm off work tomorrow and want to spend some time with my books. Like I did when I was young--before the world began. Tomorrow, I am Burgess Meredith alone with my reading. By closing the door to my room and shutting the world out, I'm buying a ticket to my own Twilight Zone.

Stories, Drinking, and the World--a recent speech by the man Ellis. Greatest writer of them all.

Grant continues his series on creating comics. Want to learn how to write dialogue, listen to how people really talk.

"The proportion of left-handers in Britain has increased more than fourfold over the past 100 years and may rise further, bringing a sure of musical, mathematical, and sporting prodigies." --Johathan Leake and James Grimston, the Sunday Times, March 17, 2002.

Nobius is left handed.

Inspired by Ron and just for fun, I'm going to make a list of some of the most beautiful women I have never met. From time to time, I'll come back and update this list. And as you'll see I have a real thing for newscasters. A really big thing. I hope my wife doesn't mind.

LOL...of couse she doesn't, she's gorgeous!

This list has no other merit other than physical beauty. Eye Candy may not be filling but all men want a piece. :) Okay, that didn't come out quite right.

Here goes, in no particluar order:

The Most Beautiful Women I Have Never Met: A Meme

Rita Hayworth (Actress)
Angelina Jolie (Actress)
Tyra Banks (Model)
Laurie Dhue (Fox Anchorwoman)
Stepanie Shaefer (Local Cleveland Newswoman)
Denise Dufala (Local Cleveland Newswoman)
Paula Zahn (CNN Anchorwoman)
Tracy Bingham (Model)
Catherine Zeta Jones (Actress, T-Mobile spokeswoman)
Jennifer Aniston (Actress)
Jessica Biel (Actress)
Jessica Alba (Actress)
Britney Spears (Singer)
Jane Snow (Fox Newscaster)
Carol Chandler (Local Cleveland Newscaster)
Kathy Ireland (Model)
Elle McPherson (Model)
Jessica Rabbit (She's not bad, she's just drawn that way!)
Halle Berry (Actress)
Aria Gionvanni (Model/Porn Star)
Amy Dumas a.k.a. Lita (WWE Diva/Wreslter)
Amy Lee (Lead Singer Evanescence)
Pamela Anderson (Actress)
Brooke Burke (Model)
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
Teri Hatcher (Actress)
Christina Rici (Actress)
Julia Roberts (Actress)
Katie Couric (NBC Newswoman)
Juliette Huddy (Fox Newswoman)
Lauren Green (Fox Newswoman)
Sela Ward (Actress)
Jenna Jameson (Porn Star)
Tori Amos (Singer) *--I have seen her in concert from twenty feet away.
Shania Twain (Singer)
Faith Hill (Singer)
Jennifer Lopez (Singer, Actress)
Lauren Graham (Actress)
Alexis Bledel (Actress)
Hillary Duff (Actress)
Jeri Ryan (Actress)
Natalie Portman (Actress)
Linda Carter (Actress)
Beyonce (Singer)
Kristian Alfonso (Actress)
Charisma Carpenter (Actress)
Eliza Dushku (Actress)
Julia Roberts (Actress)
Christie Brinkley (Model)
Drew Barrymore (Actress)
Alison Stewart (MSNBC Newswoman)
Amy Robach (MSNBC Newswoman)
Fredricka Whitfield (CNN Newswoman)
E.D. Hill (Fox News)
Jennifer Garner (Actress)
Angie Everhardt (Model)
Elizabeth Hurley (Actress)
Tia Carrera (Actress)
Demi Moore (Actress)
Kelly Preston (Actress)
Jane Skinner (Fox News)
Julia Styles (Actress)
Jessica Simpson (Singer)
Keira Knightly (Actress)
Kathleen Turner (Actress)
Kate Beckinsale (Actress)
Charliz Theron (Actress)
Paula Abduhl (Singer)
Trish Stratus (WWE Wrestler)
Billie Piper (Actress)

Bloggers' conference emphasizes tools of reporting. Would of loved to have attended. Blogging is citizen journalism at it's best.

I love the cover to this book. Simply stunning. Can't wait to read it.

There is nothing worse than a comic with a poorly done cover. The cover should always be a piece of art, it should entice you, and make you want to read the book.

"No one has the right to ruin your happiness." --Carolyn Boykin

And the job search continues as I got turned down for another job today while being told by my current employer that I'm too "emotional" for a promotion. (But they'll work with me...ya right.) I know I wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes, but if it was that bad why didn't someone ever say anything before?

This whole thing weighs on my self esteem as I try hard not to identify my sense of being by my career. Or lack of one. I keep telling my heart, I'm worth more than a paycheck.

I did email my resume out to two more potential employers tonight and posted my resume on Monster.com. I have to keep tyring.

I got the best advice on this whole thing from a friend of mine named Lillian. She said, "Don't get upset over the troubles of millionaires. They get richer and what do you get?" She's absolutely right. What do I get?

And now I'm finding myself asking, "How do I get a better life?" I seem to have never found a copy of the book on that. I seem to only have a nack for making other people rich.

But maybe, just maybe that can change. And if it can't, I wan't to die knowing I tried. Knowing I gave it by best damn shot. Regret is the one thing I can not live with.

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind. You secretly want to hide your dreams from your waking mind.

Testing other BLOGGING options. Link Kick is my link archive only BLOG. Available via RSS. Get the kick man!

Hmmm....I like this one.

Your Birthdate: July 29

Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature. You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world. You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities. The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension. This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer. You do, however, work very well with people.

Hmm....a lot of good it did me.

Your SAT Score of 1370 Means:

You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush You Scored Higher Than Al Gore You Scored Lower Than David Duchovny You Scored Lower Than Natalie Portman You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates

Your IQ is most likely in the 130-140 range

Equivalent ACT score: 31

Schools that Fit Your SAT Score: Brown University Northwestern University Carnegie Mellon University Cornell University Reed College

This one is nearly right on the money. I'm fisically conservative and socially moderate when it comes to politics.

Your Political Profile

Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Needed more questions on this BLOGTHING but it's accurate except for the woodworking garbage.

Your #1 Match: ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done. You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings. Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you. Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy. You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

>

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: High

Internet Geekiness: Moderate

Movie Geekiness: Moderate

Fashion Geekiness: Low

Gamer Geekiness: Low

SciFi Geekiness: Low

Geekiness in Love: None

General Geekiness: None

Music Geekiness: None

Does my English cut it? Not this time evidently.

Your English Skills:

Punctuation: 80%

Grammar: 40%

Spelling: 40%

Vocabulary: 0%

Israeli Comics. One of the creators started as a publisher when he was seventeen! What the hell is wrong with me?

I will say some impressive words. Neat concept for a zine. Unfortunately, I don't have much to trade since my Blue Rabbit Chronicles has been tailored for the APA. I'll be remeding that soon.

Wired 13.05: Why the World Is Flat. From Al Quaeda to Wal-Mart, the world is getting smaller all the time. Good article on the modern playing field.

Indigo Vertigo brought to you via Warren Ellis. Beautiful looking book. Potently so.

S T A R K I L L E R - The Jedi Bendu Script Site. Luke wasn't always a Skywalker you know.

Rose Petal Tea by Cally Highfield: Official Site. Cool small press author.

BUZZSCOPE :: Desolation Jones #1 preview. Warren Ellis strikes again.

Preshrunk: Infocom. Where did Zork go anyway?

Neil Gaiman's Nebula Speech.

Amazon just emailed me back with the answer to why I couldn't log in. And it worked! It seems my kids reset my computer's clock and for whatever reason that was the problem. Remember, if you order through my Amazon links and send me an email, I'll refund you fifty percent of my commission when I get paid!

Currently Reading:

Good News: Rick Gehardt is sending me free comics. He might send you some too, check out his site!

Bad News: I can't log into Amazon Associates. I'll let you know how fast customer service gets back to me. Or if like Pay Pal...never. LOL.

Good News: I have most of my next BRC rewritten after a hard drive crash.

Bad News: I have to get my resume finished because I should be interviewing within the next several days.

Good News: I have an excellent idea to make money on the side. I'll be posting about it later and some of you who can help me, I may be asking for your help and opinions. I'm really fired up on this and can't figure out why I didn't try it before.

Bad News: The world is going to end. But thankfully not today. :)

Good News: It's a beautiful day.

-Nobi out.

I BLOG all this stuff because it's my online brain extension. I like this. I want an artist to collaborate with me (though I don't really know any) on an illustrated Chapbook.

Touted as the next big info-thing comes tagging. I like it actually. Though I've had some problems getting Technoratti to work.

He's back with more comics creation advise. This time dialogue. Somehow I don't think the world talks in punchlines. It's why I need to stick to poetry.

The TYPO of the beast. What if they got the number wrong?

When I was a kid, I always regretted buying that Coleco ADAM computer. Even if it did have a built in printer and a catalogable cassette drive. LOL. Here's a tribute to the orphan computer I should of bought Preshrunk: Commodore 64.

Ahh..the Commodore with all it's computing power was home to the greatest ever Archon!! Do you hear me TV Games? Time for a comeback man, with sixteen bits and all that.

Live a little. Roll the dice. Okay it's not that exciting but maybe you could get a few free comics. Don't say I didn't ever give ya nuthin'! :)

It's a NIN Stream: The Hand that Feeds.

12,000 Manga Downloads for the PSP. Very cool. Now where's the Poetry downloads?

"We all have apocalypse dreams." --Nobius Black

"50% of writing is putting the first word on a piece of paper. 90% of success is showing up." --Woody Allen

Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day again. Most comic shops will be participating. I had planned the release of my first chapbook: Rational Animals Book One: One Night Pig to coincide because it is also Free Zine Day. However since, my slate of recent computer crashes here at home that isn't going to happen. I haven't even rewritten my APA submission which I lost in my last computer crash and is now due.

In other news, I've been job hunting and think I'm going to get a decent offer. It won't pay quite enough but I think it could be a great stepping stone. I also have began to study for my self defense instructor certification.

James is going to run one of my poems in his zine. You'll have to get the zine to find out which one but I'll give you a hint...the beautiful Rita Hayworth makes a guest appearance.

I've been experimenting with other blogging software too which I'll post about later.

Normally, I'd show you pictures but now I'm having problems with Amazon. What is it about me and computer problems? They follow me like a black rain cloud...then I bitch like a hungry diabetic.

Just started reading Stan Rice's The Radiance of Pigs and Fear Itself. Rice is a genius--a dark lover of life. His brash style like a great lover will leave you wanting for more. After reading him, his poet's words will be etched on your heart.

What are you reading?

"...for God's sake either vote or make bombs." --Warren Ellis

"Success is not an entitlement. It has to be earned." --Howard Schultz

"Do you bite the hand that feeds you? Do you stay down on your knees?" --Nine Inch Nails

Got my email back.

Got my kung fu grip back.

Threw a few grenades in a guitar case, it's time reinact Desperado even if I'm not pretty like Antonio I still love Selma Hayek.

Gonna walk till I stop. Gonna write till I drop.

Time is ticking and I'm a bomb brother.

I'm back from the dead, back to abnormal and shit man.

Okay this is ridiculous, I still can't get into G-mail. I get "server not responding."

I guess I got what I paid for.

-N

Still no Gmail. It's making my blood pressure rise. Guess when I get some free time I'll have to set up a back up email account.

Welcome to future tech! Bringing you tomorrow's problems today...at the speed of light!

I haven't been able to access G-mail in nearly three days. Anyone else having the same problem? Can't find anything posted about it being down on the web.

Take a look at the RSS feeds that I read.