"Remember that one who is possessed by worry not only lacks the poise to solve his own problems, but by his nervousness and irritability creates additional problems..." --Bruce Lee

Watched a great show about Peggy Cappy's product Yoga for the Rest of Us. She teaches Yoga to everyone she can. One student is over eighty years old! Her philosophy is that anyone can feel the full benefits of her art no matter how flexible and no matter what age.

And this gives me some good ideas for my own martial arts pursuits. How about a conquering Anxiety and Depression with Aikido (are you reading this Mike?) type angle for a book? Hmm...I like it. The pieces are falling into place.

I have a friend from Lorain that I work with who wants to meet for lunch and a martial arts lesson. I can't wait. It is a gift to teach martial arts.

It is a gift to learn.

Simply for the asking get the collaborative poetry and lit microzine Calliope Nerve issues I and II. Email your address to nobius AT gmail.com (no attachments please).

The debut issues feature works by Sheila Murphy, Billy Jno Hope, J.D. Nelson, James Dilworth, Ron Southern, and many more.

Now accepting submissions of unpublished and previously published works but again no attachments please/subject line Calliope Nerve submission.

Calliope Nerve is an ongoing zine featuring innovative short lit and poetry of all styles. Poetry is the air we breathe and the blood in our veins. All of our words are our children, God is in the ink.

Calliope Nerve... Name Your Muse!

"Train like you mean it." --Rob LaPointe

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." --Thomas Henry Huxley

It's been a long day already and now it's time to go back to work. Like the guy from the donut commercial I'm dragging and not looking forward to another twelve hours straight. The only thing worse then working too much is not having a job at all. I guess I should look on the bright side.

I did get a few things done today. I worked out for nearly two hours, got the kids off to school, went to Lacey's first school concert, took a nap, removed a virus from the computer and fixed the registry, balanced the check book, read some more Da Vinci, blogged, wrote in my journal, and even managed to sneak in an hour nap.

Time to find coffee. (Caffeine makes the world a shinier happier place.)

Then make the Donuts. Or move freight.

It's all relative.

"Whatever the job you are asked to do at whatever level, do a good job because your reputation is your resume." --Madeleine Albright

"Its another day and people are adding their sweetness to the globe's sadness." --Clifford Duffy

"The world can never have enough poetry... Or light." --Nobius Black

I just finished checking my email at work from here at home and the whole time every fiber in my being was telling me that it's time to move on. My heart is no longer there. I'm about two months from being vested, after that the world is my oyster so to speak.

I think the biggest issue I've had trying to step out on my own is the security factor. Money and a job provide a certain amount of security and a comfort zone, even when the zone is on fire. In no uncertain terms, I suffer from anxiety disorder and that has been another stumbling block. I've always had a knack for both making and saving a lot of money for other people but not myself.

Don't get me wrong I like what I do and I can even live with the brutal hours (I work over fifty hours every week, usually twelve hour days.) Yet for all that I give, the company doesn't give it back. For example today's piss off point is I get an email from my boss wanting me to schedule the rest of my vacation and my personal day for the rest of the year yet she can't tell me what shift I'll be on, what days I'll have off, even what job I'll be doing (we have several positions that I'm qualified for in my department). I've been on five schedules in eight months, four of which were terrible. My body no longer knows when to eat or sleep and it's begun effecting my weight again, etc.

Two weeks ago the company chopped two percent of the work force to help our stock value recover from a recent loss due to adjusted earnings. One of my close friends, who not only mentored me but is very ill, is now unemployed. Six people that I personally know were fired this time. Yet again, I'm supposed to be a company man not knowing if someday I could share the same fate.

Rather than moan and whine, I know what I need to do. And if I fail, again as my old axiom goes at least I can say that I tried. Even if I can't leave the corporate world, if I can give myself the ability to have good sustainable side income then I am moving in the right direction.

Besides teaching martial arts (which is my number one goal but tends to be low paying), I'm thinking the best thing for me now is to get some schooling and more self education as well as update my computer skills. There's a huge market in just being able to do hardware and software set up/support, virus protection/removal, and computer optizming. Now I don't think just those things will give me enough to get me out of the corporate rate race but they are a nice start.

I have a friend that started with virus removal and simple tech and charged fifty dollars a head. He made enough money to launch his own buisness and is now a successful entrepeneur with two computer stores. The funny thing is, many times all he does is puts Norton in a computer and removes the viruses! People are not only amazed they come back for more. And again, he chages them fifty dollars per incident! (On a side note, I'm trying to encourage my wife to get a little training as well, she must get five calls a week from family and friends looking for help fixing their computers.)

I'm also in the mode now where I'm looking at as many ways as I can to make money and or barter for services. From lawn mowing to baby sitting I'm willing to do nearly anything for a buck. I'd love to hear from any of you that have side careers or are full blown self employed. I am in definite need of mentoring. (Now that's a good idea for a website: mentoring.com.)

In other news, I did finally get Calliope Nerve I and II out to all the contributors, as well as a thank you email, and will do a few mailings to friends this week. I want to begin promoting them as well and using them to cross promote the APA.

My brother bought us The 7 Most Effective Self Defense Techniques. The actual techniques are good however the ebook needs more pictures. Many more. This is a common problem in martial arts materials. One I aim to fix.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be so many thing when I grew up. I can remember mailing in for every demo and flyer in the back of Home Office Computing and reading everything about computers I could get my hands on. But it just wasn't computers I was into, it was so much more. (This is a story for another time.) I was going to be everything I ever wanted to be.

Now maybe I can.

"One does not need buildings, money, power, or status to practice the Art of Peace. Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to train." --Morihei Ueshiba

Morihei Ueshiba was one of history's greatest martial artists. Even as an old man of eighty, he could disarm any foe, down any number of attackers, and pin an opponent with a single finger. Although invincible as a warrior, he was above all a man of peace who detested fighting, war, and any kind of violence. His way was Aikido, which can be translated as "The Art of Peace."

Hmm...I'm thinking of changing the title of these posts to sound bite. This quote very much reminds me of the company I work for now. Most companies these days, I suspect.

"I hated the 'make-the-month- mentality where everything was evaluated on the basis of short term financial performance, and I became convinced that I would never be allowed to take the more difficult next steps in creating a lean organization. I already knew that when you try to create continuous flow there is going to be a step backward for every two steps forward, and I doubted that GE's instant-results management culture could deal with it." --Art Byrne

"Want to change the world? Start with yourself." --Nobius Black

"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never." --Winston Churchill

These past few days I've been wondering how to launch a business teaching martial arts that will set me apart. What image do I want to portray? I want to develop a teaching atmosphere around private lessons and small groups. I've been fortunate enough to learn this way. The concept is bankable.

On a side note, as I've been looking at some of the martial artists and schools on the net, I've found a few that have really good products and ideas. I wonder if any of them offer affiliate programs?

I think I'm on to something here.

In other news, today is my youngest daughter's sixth birthday party. Had to move the party from the farm to my house due to my father-in-law having meningitis.

Read thirty more pages of the Da Vinci Code this morning. It's a hell of a good read.

"I know the price of success: dedication, hard work and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen." -Frank Lloyd Wright

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do." --Bruce Lee

"To love what you do and feel that it matters -- how could anything be more fun?" --Katharine Graham

"You are doing the work anyway, make sure you get all the rewards for your efforts." --Terry Gibbs

Keith Pascal never ceases to amaze me. I'd like to meet that cat. Notice he's marketed Coin Snatching to both martial artists and magicians. He's both. Doesn't get smarter than that. I'm thinking of writing an email to him. I'd love to learn about his training regimen and how he has made a full time living doing the things he loves.

Had a nice strong ninety minute workout this morning concentrating on calisthenics, light weight training, and basics. Need to get back into the groove of working out at least three time a week, preferably four.

My brother loaned me some writings of the Founder, which I'm about to go read:



Last night at practice we tried an experiment that I had been reading about. To distract my opponent I snapped my fingers before executing a defense/technique. What a miserable flop. The first time he didn't even hear it, the second time he knew it was coming and didn't look. The idea was to give you a split second advantage over your opponent. Ha ha ha...but I'm glad we did it, even though in real life I would of been pummeled. Better to find out in the dojo than on the street.

It's funny how many negative reactions I've gotten from people of late when I tell them I'm studying and trying to figure out a way to break into martial arts either on a full time or nearly full time basis. I've gotten reactions like: "Is there any money in it?" "Loving a hobby and a business are two different things." "You don't own anything why would you risk what you do have?" So on and so fourth. But these opinions don't upset me, they only make me work harder.

I may not be able to live my dream today but I will. Even if I can't break out on my own full time, if I don't give myself a clear goal then I have nothing to strive for.

There are a lot of other related things I could do. Just look at Keith Pascal's website again to see a few ideas. I've even thought about writing some books, I mean being a guy who lost and kept off eighty five pounds knows a thing or too about dieting for example...right? Also, some other thoughts of mine are that there is a lack of quality practical martial arts techniques with video available via the Internet.

It's time to clear out the negative air and breath in truth. Just like when I perform an Aikido technique.

I'm at the beginning of the movie version of V for Vendetta and Natalie Portman is about to be attacked by the police. Natalie looks a whole lot hotter than in the movie with long flowing hair and is lovely as lovely can be. I begin putting the officers in various Aikido holds and performing other techniques. One villain keeps pulling out guns and every time I disarm him, he pulls out another. He has a big cocky smile (minus a tooth) and is smoking a large cigar. Finally he runs away apparently out of guns. In the end, I save Natalie and she tightly hugs me, burying her tear soaked face in my chest. And though we don't kiss, I know I wanted to.

I never realized the subconscious meaning of dreams could be so obvious.

Thanks to You Tube and Isotope I found this deleted scene of Bigs and Luke from Star Wars in all it's unfinished glory. (I had read about the scene before.) Check it out quick because we all know the only thing more cruel than the Empire is that infamous death squadron known as the Lucas Legal Force.

How do like the imbeded media player?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

"She used to hate that I would draw about her at all, especially if I drew something that was dirty. But, she's getting more used to it." -—James Kochalka on his wife's reaction to being in his comics.

"Progress comes to those who train and train. Reliance on secret techniques will get one nowhere." --Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido

"I read, because I prefer being the casting director for my own imagination and expanding my circle of friends to include Odysseus, Anna Karenina, Julian Sorel, Richard III, The Snopses, and old ambidextrous Portnoy." --Peter Coyote

"Most of my friends are books." --Nobius Black

Did you know Bruce Lee was able to snatch a coin out of an outstretched hand before the participant could close his hand? Not only that, he was able to leave another coin in its place.

In the morning, I'm laying mulch for my mother-in-law at her small farm (I need one of those) so I better make this post quick and catch a little shut eye.

I finished the first two issues of Calliope and sent issue one to Sweet Candy Distro for giveaways and issue two to the APA (had already sent Mark Stickert issue one for the next issue of the APA). On Monday, I'll be mailing out copies to all the contributors and then I'll begin promoting both issues as well as looking for more contributors for future issues. Doing Calliope is fun and I still have enough material for at least one more issue. Lit-zines rule. :)

Spring is finally here, time to really work on getting in better shape. Need to get some cardio going, it's something I've always been weak on and would be a nice compliment to my martial art regimen.

Did some nice hiking with the kids last weekend at the Deep Lock Quarry. It's one of my favorite trails full of history, beauty, and clean air. Lots of old millstones hiding amongst the brush. Plan to hit a ton of trails this year with the kids, need to cross my fingers that my four day a week work schedule continues.

Not a lot else to say right now. I slept in today. Watched Derailed and recent episodes of Ultimate Fighter and Justice League Unlimited. However it's time to stop lazing around, I can feel the urge to use my body growing. In fact, I think I'm about to explode!

Some short clips I got from my brother of actor Steven Seagal (7th dan)doing Aikido techniques.

Iriminage

Kotegaeshi

Segako

Gokyo

Videos from the Aikido FAQ.

"Lost Girls originally came about because it had struck me that there really isn't any good, serious artwork dedicated to sex, given that it's a human activity in which most of us have some interest. There are whole genres of books dedicated to the fields of, say, being a detective, or being a space patrolman, or being a zombie back from the dead, which are fairly rarefied in terms of their actual human application. But the only genre that is actually dealing with sexual material is this gritty, unpleasant, under-the-counter kind of genre, where there are absolutely no standards." --Alan Moore

"To create, first you must destroy." -- Pablo Picasso