"Whatever the job you are asked to do at whatever level, do a good job because your reputation is your resume." --Madeleine Albright

"Its another day and people are adding their sweetness to the globe's sadness." --Clifford Duffy

"The world can never have enough poetry... Or light." --Nobius Black

I just finished checking my email at work from here at home and the whole time every fiber in my being was telling me that it's time to move on. My heart is no longer there. I'm about two months from being vested, after that the world is my oyster so to speak.

I think the biggest issue I've had trying to step out on my own is the security factor. Money and a job provide a certain amount of security and a comfort zone, even when the zone is on fire. In no uncertain terms, I suffer from anxiety disorder and that has been another stumbling block. I've always had a knack for both making and saving a lot of money for other people but not myself.

Don't get me wrong I like what I do and I can even live with the brutal hours (I work over fifty hours every week, usually twelve hour days.) Yet for all that I give, the company doesn't give it back. For example today's piss off point is I get an email from my boss wanting me to schedule the rest of my vacation and my personal day for the rest of the year yet she can't tell me what shift I'll be on, what days I'll have off, even what job I'll be doing (we have several positions that I'm qualified for in my department). I've been on five schedules in eight months, four of which were terrible. My body no longer knows when to eat or sleep and it's begun effecting my weight again, etc.

Two weeks ago the company chopped two percent of the work force to help our stock value recover from a recent loss due to adjusted earnings. One of my close friends, who not only mentored me but is very ill, is now unemployed. Six people that I personally know were fired this time. Yet again, I'm supposed to be a company man not knowing if someday I could share the same fate.

Rather than moan and whine, I know what I need to do. And if I fail, again as my old axiom goes at least I can say that I tried. Even if I can't leave the corporate world, if I can give myself the ability to have good sustainable side income then I am moving in the right direction.

Besides teaching martial arts (which is my number one goal but tends to be low paying), I'm thinking the best thing for me now is to get some schooling and more self education as well as update my computer skills. There's a huge market in just being able to do hardware and software set up/support, virus protection/removal, and computer optizming. Now I don't think just those things will give me enough to get me out of the corporate rate race but they are a nice start.

I have a friend that started with virus removal and simple tech and charged fifty dollars a head. He made enough money to launch his own buisness and is now a successful entrepeneur with two computer stores. The funny thing is, many times all he does is puts Norton in a computer and removes the viruses! People are not only amazed they come back for more. And again, he chages them fifty dollars per incident! (On a side note, I'm trying to encourage my wife to get a little training as well, she must get five calls a week from family and friends looking for help fixing their computers.)

I'm also in the mode now where I'm looking at as many ways as I can to make money and or barter for services. From lawn mowing to baby sitting I'm willing to do nearly anything for a buck. I'd love to hear from any of you that have side careers or are full blown self employed. I am in definite need of mentoring. (Now that's a good idea for a website: mentoring.com.)

In other news, I did finally get Calliope Nerve I and II out to all the contributors, as well as a thank you email, and will do a few mailings to friends this week. I want to begin promoting them as well and using them to cross promote the APA.

My brother bought us The 7 Most Effective Self Defense Techniques. The actual techniques are good however the ebook needs more pictures. Many more. This is a common problem in martial arts materials. One I aim to fix.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be so many thing when I grew up. I can remember mailing in for every demo and flyer in the back of Home Office Computing and reading everything about computers I could get my hands on. But it just wasn't computers I was into, it was so much more. (This is a story for another time.) I was going to be everything I ever wanted to be.

Now maybe I can.