Brian Damage: not as funny as it used to be. That's what the tag line reads but Nobius still laughs everytime he reads it. It's not the link back to me that compels me to visit (vain as I am), ...it's the Blogging Brians web ring! How man blogs, could a Brian blog, if a Brian could blog, blogs? That is the question. Maybe, I should change my name! Until then I'll be hoping Brian gets some nude pictues of Beyonce Knowles or Selma Hayek. Now, those are some hot tamales!

Why is that we live in a nation that hates it's wealthy? Being rich is a sin 'round here! Being rich must make you a bad person. Americans just love to tear a successful person down. Doesn't matter that 80% of America's wealthiest were self made...in other words they earned it, not inherited it. Being poor is not a choice. The poor do not need the Democrats or anyone else to take care of them...what they need is independence. Financial independence and a higher standard of living. Not just lower taxes, but inexpensive education. High quality education that everyone can afford has numerous and obvious benefits for everyone--rich and poor. From kindergarten through college, we must make it so that everyone who wants a good education can easily get one. It is our duty to help the less fortunate in any way possible, but as Franklin Roosevelt once said, "the dole is a dangerous thing." People must be able to help themselves. If Nobius ran for President, it would be this simple....America would again have the best educational system in the world, second to none, equal for all, available to all. Every American deserves it and deserves to be able to pay for it. Or perhaps we've forgotten that this is the Information Age.

Round one of the layoffs began at big corporate giant yesterday. I was under the impression, that sales was to be mainly unaffected. The not-so-funny-thing was the Assistant Vice President of Sales lost his job. I also work in sales. I mention this because 16 months ago, he said something in a meeting that struck a resounding chord in my heart. The echoing in my head of which, I will never stop hearing. Pat said, "What do you want your life's work to be?" This was a heavy thought, a question of immense proportion. Perhaps, the most important words ever spoken. This was the feeling that started it all for me. I began pursuing my writing vehmently that very day, knowing that I want to think of myself as a writer no matter what level of success I do or don't have. This is my dream, and 'White Rabbit-Black Hole' is part of my body of work. When I die, I don't want to be the one to say, I didn't have the time to write.

This morning, I blog the first of my current journal entries from that powerful night. I have journaled nearly every day since, and will for the rest of my life:

________
Sci-Fi Ideas:

heat signature of aircraft/space craft - gun with a safety that speaks, "I am disabled" or "I am on the job." - neuroconditioning a person to think something or kill an enemy - same gun w/plastic casing that squirms/changes shape to fit the intended owner/shooter's hand - slug thrower - cyberneticists - wax bullets - lab grown fish muscle - clones of dead children - light weight skin (space) suits - space ships made of anti radar alloys and smooth ceramics w/electronic webs that guide frequencies around the hull without rebounding - vat grown heart - cognizor for a brain - refractory fiber rope/won't melt in the heat - electrostatic cushion for floation - the black arts are 'hacking'
________
telling your lawyer "your fired" as you get the lethal injection
________
"Compared to him," Lance whispered, "my hate for you is love."
"And so it is," said Jason, "Go to sleep."
--Orson Scott Card in The Worthing Saga p. 224
________
Mutant Earth -- Fall Down Walking -- Better Living Through Chemistry -- A Heretic Among Us
________
He was a shadow. "This is the way I pray." -- Disturbed. Under the Hanging Tree.
________

She's got machine gun love.
Too hot to handle, her love will kill.
My affection after affection,
Just another bullet after bullet.
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat.
Blowing me apart,
Bleeding *it* all out.

I got skin, man. My new template works! I'm the idiot who couldn't get it to work! My website looks great...thanks again Maggi! Told you I was HTML impaired.

It's almost here...Maggi from MK Design has designed me a neat new template. Now, if I can ever figure out how to make it work, this think will actually look good! Great design Maggi, thank you! Once it is up, I can concentrate on writing, not aesthetics....:) Here's a preview of what it will look like:

Thesaurus.com

Okay, so call me Nobius-come-lately. I just found 'Thesaurus.com'. In to the favorites folder it goes.

Before his death, Stan Rice (husband of Anne) wrote a poem in which the premise is that his writing was often a distraction from his role as a husband. It goes something like this:

"A vain and selfish flower is growing downward/
from my tip-of-spine...one day standing up from this chair
will rip my heart out."

I recently read about Rice's life in an issue of Poets and Writers. The samples of his writing contained within were too provocative and beautiful to forget, too wonderful not to put on my 'to buy' list.

It was naive of me to think, I was the only artist that felt this sense of neglect toward others. I love my children, wife, job...but, many times I find myself inattentive toward family in the pursuit of the muse dying to free itself from my soul with the pen and ink of writing. Guilt will never leave us be, balancing it all forever seems impossible.

METAL-HURLANT

It's the bimonthly predacessor to the now defunct Heavy Metal comic magazine. What makes Metal-Hurlant unique is that it covers many genres not just the standard sci-fi and fantasy. Comics like movies can tell any type of story. This one-of-a-kind book is produced by both European (where comics aren't the bastard children of literature) and American creators.

The current issue includes the story of a 20th century man brought back to life out of cryogenic storage. The 'ice man's' drawings will be recognizable to even a small child, and for them he will die again. I won't give away his identity, what fun would that be? You have to read it to believe it.

Return of the Sandman

Another good article on Neil Gaiman, according to the article he may be making another return to comics after his next two novels are complete.

Nobius needs a custom made skin to make this blog more attractive. Unfortuately, I am HTML challenged. I don't think what I am looking for will be too complicated, basically a skin that is themed to my blog name. I am looking for a page hit counter, a rabbit mascot as part of the header for the blog, changing to a better color scheme, and my skin code needs descriptions so I can tweak it myself. If you can help, please email me and include your rates because this Blogger Template skin needs more than an hour in a tanning booth to look good.

Thanks,

Nobius

Albert Lexie

Jerry Lewis has his kids. Albert Lexie has his and they are all in Pittsburgh. Read the story of the man who has donated over $89,000 to Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh to help pay for the pediatric care of those who can't afford it. How does he do it? He's a shoe shiner of course. Heaven holds a special place for people like Albert Lexie.

The Past: Missy is standing on the edge of the cornfield, peering into the dark. Her lantern doesn't illuminate much, but she will keep searching no matter how long it takes. The blackness of the Kansas countryside, darker than the dress her Mom wore to Dad's funeral. They were here, she knows it. It's not the voices this time...it is the truth. After Jesus came to her in her sleep, she flushed the pills down the toilet and made her self vomit up the rest. Surely, it must be true...surely it is preordained.

"Space angels take me home." The words echo over and over in Missy's head. Her longing to leave this Earth is great. She will traverse the family cornfield from end to end nearly every restless night until her death.

Five months later: Daisy Jones finds her daughter's body fetal-position, frozen in the middle of the corn stalks. The night before, Missy was so convinced that the little green men were waiting for her, she left her socks and coat in the house. A late fall cold snap brought the hypothermina on quickly. Daisy, now alone in the world will never be the same again. Her big heart broken by dispair.

Yesterday: Officer Daniel Jacobs can never forget Melissa Jones's frozen body or the mysterious child-like foot prints in the snow. His dreams will forever be haunted with the knowledge that some heartless bastards made crop circles in a field around a crazy dead girl.

Y the Last Man

It's every straight man's dream....to be the only man alive...or is it? Brian Vaughan and Pia Guearra bring us the monthly exploits of the only man left after a mysterious plague wipes out every other mammal with a Y chromsome.

Planetary

As I continue with the 'What I am currently reading' type posts. Planetary will now get blogged. I just stumbled onto it and am intrigued.

From the Warren Ellis website: Planetary are 3 people dedicated to excavating the secret history of a superhero continuity that no one knew existed while dealing with it's present day incursions into the light of the day.

CBS News | Terror Laws Used Vs. Common Crimes | September 14, 2003 16:20:04

Five words for you: *READ* my post 'Thought Police.'

At this moment, I am logging on to catch up on two days worth of email while basking in my cleverness. Nobius can not help but load up the blog and look at it everytime he gets online. The blog is like watching the mangled cars after a bloody traffic accident, you can't help but look. Witty tag-lines and thought provoking imagery, chopped with just the right amount of not-so-hidden commentary in posts like 'Thought Police'. By now, the entire FBI is parked outside my front door. That's okay, I won't run, I'm not afraid. This is America no matter what our power-addled, pea-brained lawmakers do. "Unity is the way, likeness liberates." Spinning on the MP3, is Seether's "Fine Again". It's a powerful song about things being over that are never over. Like the song, I don't hurt as much as I used to. I use the thousands of excuses I've collected over the years to cover it up. Similar to a bandaid for a bullet wound. The surgeon general reports that lack of emotional control may be a leading cause of cancer. Our feelings and are our bodies are entwined, wired together. Nobius won't get cancer, he'll just keep on writing. I'm the star of the show! Can't wait to see what happens next! Penning out the frustration and the fire, burning down the world around me with my words and images. Because you see, I'm not just clever, I'm *fucking clever*. And did I mention it? Lately, every time I get online I can't help but read my own blog. That is what I'm doing this very moment.

CNN.com - Review: Two new Gaiman-ic works - Sep. 17, 2003

It's funny that this article should appear on CNN.com. I was just thinking about 'blogging' something on Neil Gaiman. This article is about his two new books. Neil is the creator of the Sandman. If you've never read the Sandman, you need too. It's important work both for comics and for world literature in general.

As I watch my children grow, I sometimes think personality is more inherited than learned. Maybe certain genes put together produce the human condition. Case in point, my 5 year old told me she wants to be a writer. Hearing this made dear old Dad quite proud. I asked her what her first book was going to be called. Rather bluntly, yet with a smile, she said, "I like dead girls." Morbidity is an affliction that strikes at any age and I've been morbid since the day I was born. Like Father, like Daughter, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Simply put:
We are all connected,
everyone of us.
We will all live,
We will all die together.
We are brothers.

Red

Speaking of CIA comics, Warren's got a 3 issue mini fitting that description. Now on sale. The CIA trained him, they armed him, now they want him dead.

From the "Bad Signal" mailing list:

"Press release issued today by publisher HarperCollins, New York:

Senior Editor Josh Behar has just acquired rights from Lydia Wills of
Writers and Artists to the first novel by best-selling comic book
writer Warren Ellis, who has authored two of DC's hottest franchises;
The Authority and Transmetropolitan. This comic tour of the dark
underbelly of American culture features a down-and-out private
detective who is hired by heroin-addled G-men to find the lost
*secret* Constitution to the United States. Publication is slated for
Winter/Spring 05.

So, yeah. I is a novelist now. Behold, and shit."

Sounds very cool indeed.

The Losers

Pay back sucks. It's the action movie you wish would be made (you know--one with a plot). Link includes a preview. Somebody stole America, now they're stealing it back.

Finally--Blogger gives us spell check. Now, if I could ever figure out how to upload an image. Please, Pyra create a real user's manual...I'll even pay for it.

They created them to stop the terror, to prevent 9-11 part II. Our leaders said they knew how to protect us better then we did. Twenty years later--I should of known better that to post America's protest on the net, but it is the only real way to communicate. Jacking in, is the law. The Ashcroft strain of nanos consume the web at 100,000 Gigabytes a second. Their bots are the eyes and ears of our government hive mind. Unity is the way. Likeness liberates.

The bots found me through the URL of the White Rabbit/Black Hole as the nanos traveled the fiber optics nearly at the speed of the light straight into my home. The Nanos's job is to erase the resistance, bring order to the Internet. Protest can not be tolerated. The Black Hole web site instantly gone, as the bots purge every registry of it's existence. My computer destroyed--50,000 volts exploding out of the keyboard and into my finger tips. Before my body even hits the floor, the cops and coroner have received the order: this was an accident. Local emergency dispatch receives a call from my frantic mom, the ambulance is on it's way. The voice of Mrs. Black pulled up from an NSA database while the nanos search my house to destroy all evidence. My picture is erased from the Barber Town High School Year Book, my social security number no longer exists. I am already but a faint memory. Nobius is dead. Five seconds from detection to death.

Unity is the way. Likeness liberates.

At 2100 local time, Mrs. Black arrives home to a 3 person G-man welcoming committee. They are waiting in the living room, knowing she always arrives on time. No introductions needed, the carbon copy black suits make it obvious. "You no longer have a son Mrs. Black, you never did. You are to report immediately for a memory expunge. To refuse is death. Unity is the way. Likeness liberates." The tears flow for a son lost, in a few hours she will no longer remember.

Unity is the way. Likeness liberates.

The following stories come from the Kickstart newsletter: kickstartyourlife.com.

In the days of prohibition, Al Capone was the kingpin
mobster. Nothing could touch him. The law was unable to
make anything stick.

One of the reasons for Al's invincibility was his
lawyer - a very clever, but unprincipled man known as
Easy Eddie.

Eddie always got Al Capone off, and the rewards he got
were magnificent: a massive salary, a huge house,
servants. He lived the lifestyle of a prince because he
closed his mind to the drugs, booze, prostitution,
murders and racketing that his boss was involved in.

This carried on for some time, but eventually a crack
appeared in Eddie's armor. He had a son. Eddie realized
that he could provided wealth and power to hand on to
his son, he could even teach the boy right from wrong,
but the one thing his lifestyle couldn't pass on was a
good name.

Eddie brooded about this and the more he thought about
it the more he believed that his son deserved better.
He deserved to be set an example that even a man as
morally corrupt as Eddie had been could change.

Eddie took the matter into his own hands and in an
astonishing act of bravery, testified against the mob
to the authorities.

Within a year, Al Capone's men exacted their
retribution. Easy Eddie died in a hail of bullets that
took away his life.

But those bullets couldn't take away his final gift to
his son - the knowledge that his father was a good man
who had done the right thing, and had paid the ultimate
price for it.

The second story involves a completely different act of
heroism.

Early in the War in the Pacific, in WWII, a squadron of
planes took off on a mission from their aircraft
carrier.

After flying for a while, one pilot, Butch O'Hare,
looked down at his dials and realized that the
maintenance crew had forgotten to fill up his bird with
gas. He signaled his squadron leader and was ordered
to return to the carrier - no point in flying a mission
if you don't have the fuel to get home.

On his way back, he saw a whole squadron of Japanese
dive-bombers en-route to his convoy of ships.

He was too far from his planes to bring them back and
too far from his ship to warn them, so he reacted in
the only way he knew how. He single-handedly attacked
the Japanese planes.

He flew at them from above, guns blazing. He flew up at
them from below. When his ammunition was all gone, he
continued to attack them using his own aircraft as a
weapon - clipping wings and tails.

Eventually, the Japanese were in such disarray that
they turned back to base.

When Butch arrived at his aircraft carrier and
explained what happened he was given a hero's welcome,
but when the film in the gun camera on his tail was
developed it showed that he had single-handedly brought
down five enemy aircraft - and damaged a lot more.

Butch O'Hare died in action later in the War, and even
though he had received the highest military honors his
home town felt that this true hero should be honored in
a more lasting way: they named their airport after him.

So next time you are travelling through Chicago's
O'Hare Airport, remember a very brave man who knew
right from wrong, and knew only too well the importance
of doing what is right at whatever personal cost.

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

So, how long do you think it will be?

-- State Department warns of "increased indications" that al Qaeda is preparing attacks on U.S. interests to coincide with 9/11 anniversary.
Watch CNN or log on to cnn.com for the latest news.--

The Identity of Man lost in this world of confusing roles. Looking for the new norm, while searching for my norm, society leaves me blind. Who will be the role model, the teacher, the one to let me know? Trying to be me, but I've lost sight of who that is. Am I Nobius or is Nobius me? So many roles, too many hats, off and on the head every moment of your life. Only one seems to fit at a time, and few fit comfortably. Writer, Sales Person, Father, Husband, Son, Friend, Brother, Provider, Care Giver, Student, this, that, everything. The roles of the actor--in which order should they go? What is the priority? What is my life's work? This clown doesn't juggle well. Pushed--pulled--all directions, many needs, my needs become small. While exploring my identity, I bump into yours and yours and yours. This is not my parent's world, the choices are no longer clear cut, and should they be, should they have ever been? Right, wrong? Bring the looking glass, I need to see who I am, where I'm going, and where me went. The Identity Crisis goes on.

CNN.com - Al Franken's 'grandiose vision' - Sep. 8, 2003

I love 'BLOG THIS.' Here is another good piece I found on CNN.com today. Al Franken, though way too liberal for my blood makes some very valid points in his new book. Including that liberals do not control the media (Nobius says only 1/2 of it) and that Ann Coulter is a nut case (definitely). His new book also states that Clinton was tougher on terrorism than Bush (what?). Though I only agree with some of the guys opinions, that fact he had the balls to take on FOX News Network with his assertion of 'fair and balanced' makes him an important voice. This article also gives me some inspiration: coming soon 'The Politics of Nobius'.

CNN.com - Former child stars speak out - Sep. 8, 2003

Here's a great article on CNN.com about 'former child stars'. I bet that expession does a lot for one's ego.

I feel alive
though I'm dead
parts and pieces of my heart every where
it wasn't the accident that was fatal
it was your words.

There is a great new song from the band Shine Down called "Fly from the Inside". I can't get it out of my head, I've got to buy this album. I'll post the lyrics here for your examination. This is the kind of music I would be playing if I had the talent.

"Here's the weight of the world on my shoulders
Here's the weight of the world on my shoulders
On my shoulders
All alone I pierce the chain
And all in all the sting remains
And dieing eyes consume me now
The voice inside screams out loud

I am focused on what I am after
The key to the next open chapter

Cause I found a way to steal the sun from the sky
Long live that day that I decided to fly from the inside

Every day a new deception
Pick your scene and take direction
And all in all I search to connect
But I don't wear a mask and I have no regrets

I am focused on what I am after
The key to the next open chapter

CHORUS

I can't escape the pain
I can't control the rage
Sometimes I think that I'm gonna go insane
I'm not against what's right
I'm not for what's wrong
I'm just making my way and I'm gone

Here's the weight of the world on my shoulders

CHORUS"

artbomb.net

Time to blog another Warren Ellis site...soon to be added to the 'Black Hole' side bar. Artbomb.net profiles the truly American but often ignored art form of 'graphic novels.' The site even includes an introduction to the medium by Jessica Abel. Find reviews of and links to purchase some of the best graphic novels known to man as well as Warren Ellis's column 'Brain Powered'. I like the free webcomic 'Biting the Hand that Feeds Me.' Artbomb--pull the pin man--it'a a graphic novel explosion. Artbomb: the graphic novel out reach site.

die puny humans

I finally got the Google Tool Bar w/BLOG THIS to work....very cool. My first sight to blog with it is Warren Ellis's "Die Puny Humans". The tagline says 'Waren Speaks Clever' though he really doesn't speak on this site. It's more of a BLOG of current events, current technology, things to inspire him for future writing, and weird a$$ sh*t! It's a good site. When I can figure out how to add multimedia content to my BLOG like he does, I will. If you want to hear Warren talk, subscribe to his 'Bad Signal' email newsletter. Nobius out.

I finally have time. Uninterupted time to compose and create, to bring characters to life, to write my Great American Novel. It's quiet here in the Black Hole...all the little rabbits are fast asleep. I'd pick up the pen (it's still where I left it earlier) but, I'm sleepy now too. It's been 12 house since I wrote 'Need Time.' Eyes are getting heavy. It's late and I don't have the time....:(

I have the urge, the desire to write the Great American Novel today, now, this moment...all in one breath. Quickly would I exhale it. I'd pick up the pen but I don't have the time. You see that damn Rabbit is yelling at me again, "Your late, your late, for a very important date." There is not a moment to say hello, and not one to write either. I'm late and I don't have the time....:(

Fire Brain full of thoughts--post human metamorphosis. Vampire necklace. The blood on your shoe. Bastard soup. Tookesbury tooth fairy. Shit canned yesterday. A tourist in hell. Pink lightning. Maximillian Light. Change box. Burning her. A tear for Marie. Cereal for killers, a prize in every box. Green house gas. Trapping heat. Burying Angela. Kill me slowly. Get off my land. Media engine. Space man. Charmed skulls. Chain gun love. Fucking Becky. WMD's for suckers. Pick your gun. Iron clad. Lost childhood. Dark screams. Harmone therapy. Placate me. Get to the bottom of this. Bipolar rush of love of and hate. My head's broken. What does 'all this' mean? Don't know but I'm getting itchy. Silence the Muse. Go with the flow. Innervisions. Close my eyes, everything still there. Get it out, type it in, write it down--throw the keyboard against the wall. These ideas keep falling out, coherency gone. I'm ready to go. Brain wave guitar feedback. The *BLACK HOLE* opening. I'm falling in. My *FIRE BRAIN* burning ...the smell of charred thoughts lighting nostrils up. The mind is a terrible thing to taste. What will I do with all these words? Let me out. This act of writing, the Punk Show in my head, screaming out the lyrics of my love, life, and creativity. Then I'm kicking a puppy, just because I'm pissed off... just because I can.

I finished Steven King's "On Writing" yesterday. As Roger Ebert would say, "thumbs up." I'd recommend it to anyone who loves his work or is looking to be a writer. "On Writing" is essentially Mr. King's formula for good writing. Some advice that Stephen gives that I enjoyed (there is a lot more in the book):

Read/Write 6 hours a day at least 6 days a week. (Stephen does it 7 days a week, more or less 365 days a year.)

Story is more important than plot.

Omit needless words whenever possible, less is more, adverbs are your enemy.

Find your "Ideal Reader" -- your spouse for example, and write your stories with that person in mind. Your ideal person should also be honest, they should tell you what is good and what is not.

When you've finished a piece, put it away for several weeks then go back to it, and reread it, etc for a fresh perspective.

Though you can't please all readers, all the time...you must please some of them or who will purchase/read your work?

Also, I found it interesting that some of Stephen's first published work appeared in literary magazines such as "Jugs" , "Cherri", and "Playboy"....:) Ya...I read 'em for the stories too....lol.

D -- for the dying, won't be long now.
I -- is me.
Satan in my head, won't stop the voices.
Every day that is lost.
Almost, but not quite
Sane.
Every day that is lost.

The DISEASE of me.

My first 'From the Journals' entry, hope you like it. So many ideas, so little time--time to free some head space.
________
Develop the "From the Journals" idea -- "Loose Ideas", "Brewing", "Ideas Brewing", "Spilling Over", "Loose Thoughts"
________
Today, the White Rabbit dies <-- Use this line, if I ever change the name of the BLOG.
________
Vampries are forbidden to bite a child (is this an Anne Rice idea? find out) When confronted the conversation goes something like this:
"You know the convenent, Julius. Children are forbidden."
"My dear Rafael, how could I resist breaking the law?. Isn't that what rules were made for? Oh, the little one...it's blood was sweet, the virillity forever..."
(Convenent of Forever)
________
The movie "Striptease" reminds me of how gorgeous Demi Moore is and how poor her movie choices have been. Liked the dance scenes...obviously...however the movie had no other redeemable feautures. How about a character named Demi?
________
Where were you when the bomb went off?
________
How does one become a web content provider? And what exactly does that mean? What does it entail? Or is that a fancy title for writer?
________
Man gets in a confession booth, says to the Priest, "You first."
________
You stole my love, now feel my hate. --song lyric
________
Android girlfriend. -- Pressure Cooker -- Brand Identity/Brand Building -- Nobody gets the girl --Serpinator
________
A widowed husband leaves love letters for his wife at her grave. But, what happens when they show up back at the house? Can I write a "love after death" story?
________
"I am the true man." --Truman short comic story. Truman is the first human born in a world of machines.
________
Ruined Chamber -- Broken Flagon -- Can Spinner Live? -- Dead Nobius -- Slaying Angels --Glass Nobius -- The Girl in the Picture -- Notes to my Biographer -- Skin Religion -- Bad Brains -- Me, Made of Glass -- Spindle's Fall -- On Accidental, Purpose -- Sand Magic -- Passing's Gate -- Bleeding Fast --The Chainheart Machine
________