"I suppose it's like the ticking crocodile, isn't it? Time is chasing us after all..." --Finding Neverland

I just imagined the cover to my book One Nite Pig. Me dressed in a long dark trench coat, my face made up with white and black make up like the wrestler Sting or a member of Mushroom Head, my arms are outstretched in a V shape and in a smoky outline (grainy and black and white) unfurled angel wings (feathers and all) can be seen.

Hmm... now how to make it possible?

"The only way to stop being bored is to do something interesting. Or criminal. These days it comes to the same thing." Grant Morrison (Kill Your Boyfriend)

I've changed jobs again. Not quite as good money (but better bonus potential) or shift as the last one but more in tune to what I want to do and the benefits are much better. I'm in on the ground floor of a new air forwarding operation which will be my primary duty but I'll also be cross trained in a number of other modes (that I don't already know), etc.

I do like outside sales and I'm not at all opposed to doing more of it but tooling around in your own car on my limited budget means I need either a large base or a large commission. And a company that understands that sales is relationship building and it takes time.

Again, just trying to take my own life a day at a time.

This is the book I'm reading:



On the inside of Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum there is a breath taking picture of a watch. Maybe you know which one I'm talking about? I feel some inspiration.

Decided to take a long weekend. My anxiety has been high again lately. Funny how our body and mind are so tied together, when my anxiety is high my arthritis acts up. I could barely move a couple of days ago. I have a doctor's appointment tonight for refills on my meds, etc but other than that no huge plans.

And this is the first day in the rest of my life.

From James:

Please pass this along to anyone you might think would be interested-

Non-Creative Garbage, a quarterly literary 'zine is looking for submissions for its Summer 2007 edition, Number Seven for Eleven. Non-Creative Garbage is looking for poetry, prose poetry, vignettes, pictures and photographs. Copyright will be retained by the submission's author and the author will receive a copy of all issues of N-CG including the current issue.

Also available is Non-Creative Garbage Number Six for Broken Hearts. It is a two page per-zine, lit-zine that is available free to the first ten people who write to-

james at sejdb dot net with a subject line of I want Non-Creative Garbage now!


Thanks,

James

"Wild boys are calling on their way back from the fire.... Where is all you angels? " --Duran Duran

I received a number of strong submissions yet again for the magazine, looks like I've got yet another issue I can put together. Jonathan Penton was kind enough to blurb us as well.

Though I'm still taking things at the new job one day at a time, it is nice to have a three day weekend. Slept in a bit this morning and I've been reading, answering correspondence, and lounging a bit this morning. Think I'll make lunch for the kids after I finish this and I promised the wife I'd cook one her favorites potato dumpling soup for dinner.

No big plans for the weekend other than working out, gardening, spending time with the family, a small cook out tomorrow, reading, writing, and drinking beer. Sounds like a good weekend to me.

James has a new issue of Non Creative Garbage out. Check it out. It's probably the biggest inspiration for Calliope Nerve especially since he let me edit an issue.

And speaking of editors, Michele has edited the current issue of Red Fez.

Read Dark Horse's The Umbrella Academy from Free Comic Book Day last night. Reminds me very much of Grant Morrison's run on Doom Patrol and with Gabriel Ba artwork think I may pick this one up on a regular basis. One of the heroes The Rumour has the power of making falsehood come true. And as the cover says, "...when will she lie again? I think next time. Make it fantastic!"

"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'" --Roy Blunt Jr.

Is it real Star Wars or is it Memorex?

Sold a couple of nice customers this week at work. I am enjoying the new job (other than cold calling but only the sick enjoy that...LOL) and I do like face to face sales very much. I'm still reserving my judgement on the company and my co-workers as I've learned over the years I trust way too easily.

Aikido is going well and besides my daughter, one of her friends has also started taking it. It's always good to have beginners. Mike (with my help I'm sure) will be formalizing our style and our promotion (belt) grading system. I have a few ideas on this that I'll share later, I'm a bit wore out from gardening two hours after working today, etc.

Got a lot of solid material for Calliope Nerve (at least two issues worth) and expect some more surprises for our (not just my) magazine. David Blaine was kind enough to review the zine at The Guild of Outside Writers. Michele blogged it too!

People love us. They really do. :)

I'm also looking at putting together a book of mature fairy tales under the Calliope banner. Something like this fine book (only different):



For years, I've seen a nearly homeless man (who appears to have Cerebral Palsy) walking around town and collecting aluminum cans in huge bags. Usually, we cash ours in but this week I caught the Can Man (as my kids fondly call him) in the alley behind my house and gave him every last can. His name is Rick. And I know it wasn't much but I hope that act of kindness helped make Rick's day a little brighter.

Ron thanks for the quote that opens this post. Hang in there man, your health problems have got to be a drag.

And for some reason, I'm in the mood for some John Denver. So, time to cue up You Tube before I hit the sack.

Did I really just say I was in the mood to listen to John Denver?

I'll be damned, I did. :) Something is definitely wrong with me. :)

"We have to steal back the hallucination..." --Grant Morrison

Calliope Nerve Part X: Natural Born Poets is now available and free of charge featuring the work of Michele McDannold:

Café

We pick up from the streets, words
and skin stretched
thin over
mother's lips.
Dumpster love along the spillway, free;

sunshine through the way. She
dances to the jukebox, a knife in back of cowboy lust
to celebrate the waitress.

Open sign askew a door
of rust and nails of regret
scratchandspitandspew
coffee dust.

--Michele McDannold

Other authors include David Blaine, J.D. Nelson, Shawn Misener, James Dilworth, Ariel Lee, and me I'm Nobius Black.

Calliope Nerve features poetry, short lit, reviews, commentary, quotations, and odd bits in a wide range of styles. All editions are free of charge. Back issues available.

To order this issue send your snail mail address to nobius at gmail dot com. Submission info is located here. (We are always looking for talent.) Internet link trades, advertising, and flier swaps available.

To support Calliope order your Amazon products via my web log: White Rabbit - *BLACK HOLE*.

Name your muse! Calliope Nerve.

It's always good to have lots to read and the time to enjoy it. Though I bought it for my wife for Mother's Day, I just finished reading Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall:



Though not as strong as the Neil Gaiman's Sandman books, Fables is always an enjoyable adult read a.k.a. fairy tales for grown ups. And this collection is noteworthy for it's breathtaking art and two brilliant stories The Fencing Lessons (which explores Prince Charming and Snow White's relationship and puts a whole new spin on the concept of The Dwarfs) and The Runt (a tale of exactly how the Big Bad Wolf got that way including his huffing breath.)

Next up in my pile How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling:



Actually, I have so much in my pile, I probably won't run out of new reads until next year plus my brother has some books I want to borrow. Life is good.

And if all that weren't enough, I've got enough material for issue ten of Calliope which will have a very special theme inspired by one of the contributors.

Off to bed, lots more to say and not enough time. I just may crank out another per-zine.

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

On Friday, I found out that an old manager of mine, someone I considered a friend committed suicide two weeks ago. Coincidentally enough, about three weeks ago I tried to call him and found it very odd that his cell phone (which he lived on) was disconnected. Hind sight is 20/20 but I'm thinking now that Curt was bi-polar or something along those lines. (Jumping from job to job, working eighteen hour days, moving from place to place all the time.)

Curt was a talented man who at different times in his life had been a vice president at several different transportation companies, owned a collection agency, owned a freight forwarding outfit, and owned a flat bed company. He had two great kids and though he was about ten years older than I am, looked like a ripped twenty year old.

When I worked with him, he had to live away from his kids (he was divorced). More than one time, I recall his daughter calling and complaining about "Mom" grounding her or punishing her. Curt would always calm her down with that salesman voice of his and then defend his ex-wife. "She's your Mom. You have to do what she says honey."

Curt not only taught me a lot about transportation but he saw my potential. When he left, our last company he wanted me to come with him but unfortunately their office was too far from here (about an hour) and right in the middle of the snow belt and Cleveland rush hour traffic.

Curt, I hope and pray that wherever you are, you find that inner peace you need. And for your family, I will pray often. Though it's been nearly seventeen years, I can never forget the whole in my own heart from my Dad's suicide.

"I want somebody to shove me."--Soul Asylum

"The thought that I could decipher your message. There's no one here dear. No one at all." --Tori Amos



Gabcast! White Rabbit - *BLACK HOLE* #4

Where the Ships Die

You
Sail Me
Where the Ships
Die.

my tourniquet
A Folded Earth
a bloodied paper
full of eloquence
Poetry untouched.

Used to be such
A sweet sweet thing.

Everything voyeur
(the Point)
The pattern bones
Compass due North.
just Try to
Swim among the stars

I was on the path
To Heaven
But you had to stand
In My Light.

The speed of beauty
(A falling word crashing)
A torn sail Laureate
At the bottom of the sea.

"Music is what feelings sound like. Poetry the words..." --Nobius Black

"You wanna see the light? So, do I." --Korn

"Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music." --Sergei Rachmanino

Mother Revolution, mother strong, mother protector, mother of song. Rather than burning a CD Mix Tape, I present here, for all of my friends, this first collection of the very best of what I'm listening to right now. Eclectic, sensual, ferocious, precious... many times only a song gets us from one day to the next. Sometimes, only the music understands. Everyone knows a song that started a revolution and each of us has a song that changed our lives. These are some of mine:

Muhammed My Friend (Live) Tori Amos w/Tool's Maynard

Only Anthrax

Apparitions Matthew Good Band

Freak on a Leash (Unplugged) Korn w/Amy Lee

Superman's Dead Our Lady Peace

These Days Alien Ant Farm

Mad World Gary Jules

A Toute Le Monde (Set Me Free) Megadeth w/Lacuna Coil's Christina Scabbia

Estranged Guns 'N Roses

7 O'Clock London Quireboys

The Pot Tool

Hang Me Up War Babies

Never Let Me Down Again Depeche Mode

Imagine A Perfect Circle

Six Underground Sneaker Pimps

Why Do You Think They Call It Dope Love/Hate

See You Tonight (Unplugged) KISS

Faraway Vol. 2 Apocalyptica with Linda Sunderland

Blue Monday Orgy

So What? Metallica

Folsom Prison Blues (Live) Johnny Cash

Hook in Mouth (Live) Megadeth

We Die Young Alice in Chains

Cemetary Gates Pantera

Negasonic Teenage Warhead Monster Magnet

I recently got this cool letter of comment for Calliope Nerve VIII: Why Go?

Hey there...

I love it! love it love it love it.
I'm telling everyone I know about it. You said i could. ;)
quotes... are a thing that i love.
and, further, this fit together in a way that made most sense in my world.
thank you for the entertaining and inspiring read.
i needed it.

cheers,
michele

And my response...

Thanks.

It takes a special kind of person to appreciate Anthrax old school metal quotes along side insightful poetry. :)

Seriously, there are two points to Calliope Nerve. The first is and always will be original content and it's why I use a minimalist design. The other is my no snobs policy. I hate artistic and intellectual snobbery and that's why we've published everyone from a 17 year old cheerleader to accomplished poets/writers to a retired pest exterminator. Art is for all...

David was also kind enough to post about Calliope. We had a lively discussion via email regarding poetry magazines and he submitted a few pieces for future issues.

One of the cool things about doing Calliope is frequently I get background material or have discussions with the authors regarding their work. Most of that can't be run in the magazine because of space limitations but when we do our book, I'd love to include some of the "tricks behind the magic."

Speaking of letters of comment, it's good to see a number of comics are again running a letters page. In my mind, the Internet makes a poor substitute for a letters page. Now, if they'd only bring back the classified adds at the back of comics. I mean, I'm lost without my X-ray glasses and Sea Monkeys.

And now, I'm showing my age. :)

More later. Lots going on this weekend with Free Comic Book Day, the Cherry Blossom Festival, and I finally got a copy of A Contract with God. And I even managed to squeak in a two hour work out on Friday.

You Are 72% A Child of the 80s

Not only did you experience the 80s... you are practically an expert. You should be totally stoked!

I love the Eighties!

Well not really... I just grew up then.