"Don't worry Dad....Baby's a girl kitty. I know. I checked. She's got kitty feeders!" -- Kayla

My head is a trip.

My brain can only be likened to a Lamborghini with no brakes screaming down hill toward a brick wall. Zoom...zoom...zoom...mrrrrr...SLAM!

Sometimes, I really can't tell...who the hell is driving here.

Sometimes, I lie awake at night wondering when will it all stop...when will this all be over?

Racing thoughts and blinding light are the dreams that kill. I just write about them on the way.

I remember that fateful day, I told my Daddy, "I wanna rock!"

Twenty years later, I do. But instead of singing, I write.

Korn's new greatest hits album to include covers of Head Like a Hole and Another Brick in the Wall.

Ozzfest Unsigned Band search to become the next American Idol? Now that could be fun.

This world is spinning without me...Pull me under...I'm not afraid. -- Dream Theater

I am so tired. I'd go to sleep now but then I'd see my dreams.

Without your mask, where will you hide? -- Evanescence

Nobius is my mask. You'll never see my face.

Hey now...looks like I'm in the running for the best BLOG ever...'bout damn time. LOL. :)

Go here to cast your vote (but don't you go votin' for them there other guys): The Pink Bee.

Mankind doesn't want to survive. It wants to live.

And the sound of my heart this morning is anger. An unrelenting depression that silences life...and love...and breath.

Dave Mustaine, lead singer to Megadeth, is a man who I think I may share a lot in common with (if only I were as tough-as-a-tank brash). The twin songs of Holy Wars/Punishment Due are my entry today in my ongoing series of Hiding Behind Nobius: The Soundtrack of a Lifetime. How he paired them I don't know but the fit is perfect and the fear is great. Mustaine has always been ravaged by his feelings, his religion, and our lack-of-empathy society....so have I. So have we all.

Next thing you know they will take my thoughts away.

Holy Wars...The Punishment Due by Megadeth

Holy Wars

Brother will kill brother
Spilling blood across the land
Killing for religion
Something I don't understand

Fools like me, who cross the sea
And come to foreign lands
Ask the sheep, for their beliefs
Do you kill on God's command?

A country that's divided
Surely will not stand
My past erased, no more disgrace
No foolish naive stand

The end is near, it's crystal clear
Part of the master plan
Don't look now to Israel
It might be in your homelands

Holy wars

Upon my podium, as the
Know it all scholar
Down in my seat of judgement
Gavel's bang, uphold the law
Up on my soapbox, a leader
Out to change the world
Down in my pulpit as the holier
Than-thou-could-be-messenger of God

The Punishment Due

Wage the war on organized crime
Sneak attacks, repel down the rocks
Behind the lines
Some people risk to employ me
Some people live to destroy me
Either way they die.

They killed my wife, and my baby
With hopes to enslave me
First mistake...last mistake!
Paid by the alliance, to slay all the giants
Next mistake...no more mistakes!

Fill the cracks in, with judicial granite
Because I don't say it, don't mean I ain't
Thinkin'it
Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away
I know what I said, now I must scream of the overdose
And the lack of mercy killings.

Next thing you know they'll take my thoughts away.

Experts slam low-carb trend as rip-off.

I know many people on Atkins. I'm watching carbs myself. However, I can't believe a full Atkins diet can be good for a person. In fact, I had a friend inform me lately that he can eat 6 eggs and a half a pound of bacon in one sitting on Atkins and it's better than one piece of bread. Say what???

Val Staples article. I love a guy that can sell his toy collection and then revive a comic universe about the same characters.

Personalized action figures? It seems the day has come when even Nobius can get his own action figure. I've found several companies who will do everything from design you as a figure to a concept of yours into a designer toy. Cool stuff...something I'll be doing when I have a little more cash.

Another good link about designing professional toys yourself.

Trust me the Nobius figure will mark the return of the Kung Fu Grip!!! (Now I am showing my age.)

I haven't yet read the Da Vinci Code but it's on my ever growing list of books to read. Here's a great link regarding a speech the author gave. Dan Brown left out many pieces of speculation about Jesus.

Best quote from the article: "He said apathy is a constant threat to the study of the uncomfortable relationship between science and religion."

It would seem not just I wonder the age old questions: Who is Jesus? Who was Jesus? What is the truth?

Here's a blast from the past. It seems FIDONET is still alive and well.

That's a term from the past I thought I'd never hear again. Back in the day when I was hot chatting on TDBS and reading FIDO newsgroups with my BLUEWAVE Mail reader. I mean I was even tech savy and had my own mini WILDCAT BBS that I was testing.

Sometimes, I miss the days gone by.

From the Warren Ellis email newsletter Bad Signal:

Combat Big Media Hubs

bad signal
WARREN ELLIS

This is something I was talking about with a friend on a
private forum last night. It's been in my head for a couple
of weeks. I'm going to road test the notion here.

Combat big media. Use the web.

Every day, people release new creative work on to the web.
Prose, essays (often in blog form), art, photography, music,
animation, video, spoken word, whatever. The web, and a
bunch of free or cheap tools, gives the creator access to
the full spectrum of media for web broadcast.

LiveJournal gives you the ability to subscribe to other LJs,
which you read on a dynamically updating page - your own
channel of selected content.

Expand that up a bit.

Take Dr Joshua Ellis' notion of "taste tribes," small
communities connected by a shared aesthetic.

Now, you and your tribe -- and if you're all on Tribe.net,
you can grab a bit of code from the site that displays you
all on a sidebar on your website -- select out the content
streams on the web you like. Your favourite online comics,
the internet radio stations you like, the artists who put new
mp3s and art and photography on their sites, etc.

You grab some webspace. Your Hub, if you like.

And you cause to be created a system whereby the Hub is
informed when one of your selected sites updates. The way
a blog puts a new entry at the top. The way a new piece by
a favoured LJ appears at the top of your Friends page.

You've just built a multimedia channel in webspace.


If you feel like it, you can nail some community software onto
it, like Beehive. And you've got the place on the web where
your tribe is, in real time. At the very least, you could set up
to launch IMs off the site. Make your friends' information
invisible to the public, set up an account with Ipipi, and you can
SMS your friends' mobile phones from off the site (I set up a
system like that for a private community earlier this year).

Hell, there's not even any need to make the Hub public, if you
don't want to -- put the whole thing behind a password gate.
But if you do make it public, you can construct a powerful
evangelism tool for the content you like. Use it to create
awareness of your favourite artists, even set up PayPal
donation points.


It's your full-spectrum multimedia channel. It's the TV-killer.
It's the advertising-killer. It's all free original material selected
by you and the friends you share tastes with.
Your Combat Media Hub.

I'm on the Treo at the pub, so I don't have the link to Josh's
original "taste tribes" article, but a quick Google should bring
it up.

There could be great big holes in this, but I figure the idea's
worth road-testing in any case.

-- W

Lot to think about eh?

A couple of updates from the Metal front:

Rob Zombie states his House of a 1000 Corpses sequel will be different. Yes, Rob, hopefully it will have a plot.

Die Dead Enough the first single from Megadeth's new CD will hit radio this month.

And a heart felt happy first birthday to my BLOG.

Now back to more murders and mutilations...:)

In the night I hear...
My dream space nightmare.
No longer do I wonder
What it is hell sounds like.

It sounds like the words
"I love you"
Coming from your mouth.

Flash Fiction is a phrase coined by the great Warren Ellis. It's a much cooler term than short short fiction. I'm working on writing my own flash fiction to post here over the next few months. I quite like last night's flash piece: Skin.

Flash fiction--stories in a *flash pan*, pain all night.

And Rohric was the greatest blood lover of them all. His addiction to the bite earned him his vampire name: Fiend.

But even he warned me, "Oh little one...Vlad feared the day, when the flesh he tasted...tasted him back."

This changing trauma
Is my life.

Those suicide girls...
With their secret intentions
And wicked notes
Too beautiful for telling
Do nothing for me
But bookend a life far past reality.

While you were gone away,
Life remained.
Nobius is still here
Trapped in the City of Light
Companioned by a great fear.
Our God is no longer.

I can hear
New pathways forming in this brain.
Synaptic journies end.
Others begin.
I see no joy, only light.
Where did He go?

Bring me the angels
And then the noose.

Win a Trip to Berlin.

Love the Blue Men. Saw them two different times in Vegas and I have a couple of their CD's. Word is they'll be scoring a new television show called The Jury. Check out the link and win a trip to see them at their new Berlin theater.

Phrase of the day: "Let no one else tell you the limit to your success." -Francine E. Blake

I want to create an audio blog on CD more or less ... my own radio show on a CD if you will. I need a program that will record from a microphone to a MP3...can anyone refer me to such a program. I'll tell you more about my idea later.

-- Commission reports "no credible evidence" that Al Qaeda and Iraq cooperated in 9/11 attacks on United States.--

That was the headline from my CNN.com Breaking News e-mail.

Like we suspected any other out come. Give it up President Pinochio, we know you stretched the truth.

Again I must remind myself:

I'm not him.

Marilyn Manson Is Fantastic In New Movie.

Ya, but is he on the sound track?

Manson is the king of grotesque and his powerful imagery and a@@ stomping music keep him one step ahead the rest of the pack. They all wanna be him but only one man can create an album as good as Mechanical Animals.

Somewhere in this world, there's a place for me. Out there. Somewhere I matter.

As I was listening to a local talk radio show during my morning work out a new thought occurred to me. The topic was regarding a public school that Akron is going to build inside the Inventor's Hall of Fame. The spokeswoman said that employers need people proficient in technology and science and that would be the aim of this special new school.

My thought however is this. Proficient is not enough. We need students that have the foresight in life to become top performers. Just like in athletics or the work place. Proficient is good but being excellent sets you apart from the crowd.

It is this vision that our American school system needs. To foster students who want to excel, not who are forced to. And an education system that teaches kids to be all that they can be with parents who support that dream.

George Eliot said,

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

Nuff said?

I hate drugs. But I find this editorial regarding the shifting attitudes about pot to be fascinating.

The bottom line is this: Governments can not legislate morality. Didn't anyone learn from American prohibition?

I'm not at all sold on advocates claims that marijuana is safer than alcohol, etc. However, in a free society, an adult should be able to do as they please. It's their life. Their choice. No matter how good or bad that choice is, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else, leave them alone.

Probably since the beginning of time...or at least BLOGS, the Friday Five has existed. Essentially every Friday, online journals everywhere post the same questions with each user's unique answers. I'll be talking some more about this in the future. As well as doing some.

Here's a Five I found on Scott's journal that I really enjoyed.

1. Who is your favorite celebrity? It depends on what your definition of a celebrity is but my favorites include the writer Warren Ellis and vocalist Tim "the Ripper" Owens. To me they are celebrities. I'm not much into the Hollywood B.S.

2. Who is your least favorite? Without a doubt, Christina Aguilerra makes me ill. More so Justin Timberlake makes me want to puke hard. I hear at Justin's concerts some muscle bound back up dancer with him yells about how Justin's "street" and that "he's the real deal". Not sure if that's true, but if someone has to tell your audience about your credit then clearly you have none.

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life? No one truly famous. I've met Ripper Owens (he lives here in town) and Big Chuck and Lil' John. I've seen Mario from Who Saved the Bell at an indoor carnival. I saw a terrible speech by Tipper Gore back when I was a Republican (that was fun...NOT). Other then that, I've seen a few big name baseball players at Indian's games and I've seen a number of musicians at concerts. That's really about it. How sad.

4. Would you want to be famous? Why or why not? I thought I already was....:) Seriously, I'd like to have some notoriety but not in the way that super famous people do. I'd never want to live behind a contigent of body guards. I like privacy.

5. If you could trade places with a celebrity for the day, who would you choose and why? Hmmm.... I'd love to be a single Tom Cruise. And let's just say I wouldn't spend the day acting. There are better sports to be played while surrounded by beautiful women.

SOUTHERN EXPOSURE - Diatribes And Dreams, Alarms And Beauty

Ron Southern has done it again. His online magazine SOUTHERN EXPOSURE is out again, while you're there check out the links to his 3 blogs. The current issue of Exposure contains the story of his pest extermination job, told as only he can. My favorite part was the extremely dark poem A Woman Leaned Over My Corpse.

Ron's a top notch writer and I'm rooting for him to get a book deal. Not sure if he's rooting for it though...lol.

I also found out from reading this months issue that Ron enjoys Emily Dickinson one of my favorite poets. Ron this one's for you:

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you - nobody - too?
Then there's a pair of us. --Emily Dickison Poem 288

A piece of wisdom passed down through the generations:

For a successful life, never do anything your mother wouldn't approve of. Always make her proud.

Too late.

Way too late.

You won't tell...will you?

When the cape comes off...
When the mask is put away...
Is the hero still there?

Hiding Behind Nobius is part of an ongoing series, check the archives for more. A new friend recently sent me a CD of songs he is currently listening to and amongst the tracks was this gem by Richard Thompson. Gethsemane is a painful, poignant, beautiful song that haunts the mind long after the music stops. It is an ode of feeling saying the words I wished Dad said to me. "Be something. Be something fine."

Gethsemane
by Richard Thompson

Among the headstones you played as boys
Crypts and tombs like a roomful of toys
Just up the river from the smoke and the noise
Gethsemane
And there's war-whoops and secret signs in the trees
Estuary smells coming up on the breeze
O perfect endless days like these
O Gethsemane

Sailboat on the Cadie, pushbike on the quay
In your eyes there's fire, in your hand destiny
'O be something, be something fine!'

Just down the river, into the noise and the smoke
Being daring with the staring, uncaring folk
Who laugh with you, laugh at you, you'll never get the joke
Gethsemane
And they broke your spirit there in the marines
Flushed your head down in the latrines
Frozen in your sacrement, derailed in your teens
Never saw the enemy

And those bosses betrayed, soon let you go
The fire in your eyes, how could they know
'O be something, be something fine!'

Now you've got your own boys, hell bent for leather
Dead before they're 18, or bitter old men forever
They never saw the halo moon rise over the river
Of Gethsemane
Now there's a pain in your head puts lead in your shoes
Better get it seen to, it's going to be bad news
How did the perfect world get so confused
O Gethsemane

Who sucked out the freedom, days without end
Under the weight of it all you must bend
'O be something, be something fine!'

Does the Superman feel (man of steel)
Incredible guilt (faster than a speeding bullet)
A Yellow Sun anguish
Over the fact
He can not save the world?
I guess everyone can't be Christ.

If I'm so in love with death then why am I so afraid of dying?

From that crazy guy at Die Puny Humans comes the link to The Bruce Lee Kung Fu Remixer !

Get your black belt and kick some a$$ with the keys. Then remix it. Even works great on dial up. It's Hong Kong Fooie--number one super guy time.

The living envy the dead. --Megadeth

On the twenty first of June this blog will be one year old. I can't believe it. To everyone reading it and all the people I've met through it...I'd just like to say thanks. I'm thinking of doing something special for my first year anniversary but not sure what yet. I'm also thinking of doing a "guest BLOGGER" stint where other people write posts for me. If you're interested let me know.

The flesh of the truth is this:

The future of Earth is blood thirsty. Make no mistake. That time is now.

We are the vampires sinking our teeth in, drinking the carnage and mayhem.

Twenty four hour news. World wide wrestling. Reality TV. War for oil. Killing for religion. Telling who is right is not an easy task.

Exquisite torture. Erotic pain. It brings mankind an utmost pleasure.

Rule or perish. Kill or be killed.

This is the blood future. We all pay the price.

Not unlike the past.

Not unlike now.

New Megadeth album release info as well as for the reissues.

I can not wait!

Hmmm.... Let's see. I'd share some of these brains I got with you but there's only enough for one. And I'm hungry.

A piece of dialogue from something floating in my head space, not sure where it will take me so for now it lands here:

"Johnny, I need you to take out all the other guys."

"Which ones are those?"

"You know the *other* guys. The ones who think their right and we're wrong....especially the fat one."

"Ahh...I see. You mean the one born from a virgin?"

"Yea that one. While you're at it...take out his damn white elephant harbinger too."

"His name is Buddah. And we have taken them out old friend. All of them. In fact, Jesus is more popular than the Beetles once again. As it should be."

"How did you do it?"

"Quite simply: I told each one to defend the Holy land. And being that humans will be humans, they killed each other. Dead. Really dead. Oh and toasty crunchy too. Nukes."

"But who will be left to give praise?"

"That my friend was not in the job description. You see I may be Johnny P...but I'm not you God. I'm just a lonely pontiff for hire. Now be a good lad and pass me another brandy."

Wow...that was quick. Die Puny Humans already shows me in the left hand corner of the site as "reffering" to it. Test successful. I love RSS.

"Got no shame and I got no one to blame." --Brother Kane

It's been a while and I haven't forgotten about this BLOG or all of my BLOG friends...:) I have however been busy and also working on some things for my other creative outlet The Blue Rabbit Chronicles appearing exclusively in APA Centauri. We are looking for more members for the APA. Contact me for info.

This link is a test for something I'll tell you about later: Die Puny Humans. Never read Warren before? Check him out especially if you're sick and depraved like Nobius.

I've got plenty more to say soon, but for now I'm gone.

Nobius